No one ever fully recovers from a death. A great loss is carried with us the rest of our lives. We do heal enough to go on with our lives, though.
A woman died last week, that most people didn’t think much of when they saw her. Those who really knew her knew they were blessed. That is usually the way it is with death. People die everyday and take with them a quiet greatness that many will ever knew.
We have to heal. We have to recover. Healing is a long process. We all have our ways of dealing with grief….both good and bad.
Healing is always best done with love. I saw healing things around me this weekend…both big and small.
I saw the growth of a young lady. A girl who just a few years ago struggled with addiction. In the face of her mother’s death to addiction she blossomed into a strong women.
She planned the funeral and is finding ways to pay for the expense. She made sure her brother and sister were safe. They are both battling addiction themselves. She made sure they didn’t relapse.
with her whole world crumbling, she put on a brave face and showed strength to those around her. She sat with those hurting and felt her grief even though she had her own grief.
Then, there was her sister….this young lady laid on a by for two weeks just weeks ago with the same illnesses that killed her mother. She went through 28 days at OVP and is now in a recovery home 2 and a half hours.
She made the difficult but correct decision to watch the service on zoom. Her instinct was to be there but she wisely recognized her recovery was not strong enough. Handling the grief head on and being back in the environment she did drugs in put her at risk. She wisely admitted, “ If I come back, I will do meth.”
The son went to the funeral but made the wise choice to return and continue his rehab.
I saw small things that help healing so much. There were beautiful testaments posted about Betty’s inner beauty that few knew. A young girl posted how she would have froze or starved if it wasn’t for Betty’s beauty.
There was a beautiful effort from a nice lady who I only knew from online. The woman suffers from Sleroderma and suffers daily pain. She heard I was sick and didn’t feel well and surprised me with chicken noodle soup, Gatorade, and treats for AJ Dawg.
Seeing people step up when other people are experiencing sorrow gives me hope for us all. I realize all we have is each other and we can lose everything else so quick.
On the day of her funeral, Gator Haters who hang on every word tried to attack me online while they thought I was down hoping I was vulnerable. The strength of those suffering around me and the kindness of people who barely know me kept me strong and I fended them off easily.
As I walked Downtown, people I only know from my writing, offered me sincere condolences and told me they love my writing.
And folks that is how love heals. We go on because love let’s us lean on it when stepping forward is tough.
And when I see pain….I too will quietly step up and offer a shoulder..
And folks….that is how we get through this thing called life together.